Christianity—just ranting.

I’m scared to say I’m a Christian not because I’m ashamed of Christ, my Savior or the criticism I would receive for being a Christian. I am scared to say I’m a Christian because I am not living a Christian life. I don’t want to keep on posting statuses about praying or Bible verses because I know I do not practice any of those things. I don’t want people to get the wrong impression of what Christianity is just because I say I’m a Christian and not living my life like Christ. I wish I did but the reality is, I don’t. 

I can say all the right things to the right and wrong people about how God is and how much He loves us that He gave His only Son for our sins! I can say that God has an everlasting love. I can say that God is constantly pursuing us but it’s up to us to open our doors, let Him in and keep on being thirsty for His word so that we may quench our thirsts for joy. He is the ultimate source of Joy and Happiness. I know all of that and I can say all of that and more to anyone who might need or want those words…

Unfortunately, I have no confidence in ever saying those words again because even though I believe all of it, I don’t live my life like I do believe it.

I’m ashamed of sharing/witnessing to my friend’s about God and His Only Son because I’m not living a life of someone who is saved.

I can say it all. People think I’m “strong” or something of the sort but only because by God’s grace through my mom’s prayers that I’ve been “strong” or at least protected from the temptations that could easily break me. I’m just so blessed to have a mother who constantly prays for me everyday that God would be merciful and graceful. It’s not because of what I have done at all that makes me “strong.” My mother is faithful to God and God, in turn, is so faithful to her through me…

I need prayers… Just like many other things in this world that might be bigger than anything we could imagine.